It is not a good day people. Not a good day.

*****(RANT WARNING!!)*****

I feel like crap, yet again. So, last night I'm pretty much depressed. And then my mom tries to make me feel better. Actually.......she sends my father downstairs to get me to get off the cement floor and stop crying. and of course, he yells. He says I have a cold so I can't cry on cement floor, I can go in my room if I'm going to be crying. SOOO, I go in my room, and sit down, same position, and he FOLLOWS ME. And then my mom comes down. And we get into this huge argument. and I just want everyone to get the f*ck out of my room and let me cry it out. So my mom is yelling now, and she's made my dad go away.

So I give her an altimatumn(did I spell that right?) And so I say

"Either I'm going to shed tears, or blood. I just need to get rid of this pain"

and so she freaks out, and screams "WHAT PAIN!??"

Really, I'm tired of it. So she goes away after a while. 15 minutes later, SHE'S BACK! "Your father wants to feed your brother but you have to come up and eat too. That way he only has to use the deep friar once, for the two fo you" and in the end, I'm up there. After I eta my father starts going on about how I have an obsession with the computer. And so i stand up, and I say "Well. I think I'm done. I only came up here to eat, not listen to you talk shit. Goodbye" and I walk down the stairs BACK into the basement. and I lay on my bed for a while. And then I go upstairs, its like......30-40 minutes later, like, 10 to 11:00. And i forgot why I went up there, btu it was probably just to get some water. So my mom asks me to go check her bath. And i do. And so she ends up pulling me into the bathroom where we can "Talk about it"

All I really want to do at this point in time is bang my head against the wall. And then after she talks, I do a couple of quotes:

"You'd kill yourself for recoginition, kill yourself to never ever stop. You've broken anothe rmirror and you're turning into something you are not"
and
"No one notices what I do untill I've stopped doing it"

and of course she takes the first one as an interpretation that I'm talking abotu her job.

And then I say it. The thing that apparently hurt her quite abit. "I feel like my only real family died when Rob moved out" Rob was my brother, he's on here, you can find him as "Keeper of the Bear" I think.....not sure. Point is I hurt my mom allot, or so my dad says. She hasn't said a word to me yet this morning, though she is awake.

The thing is. She changed the password on the computer. Showing that hse was not HURT by what I said, only pissed off.